WW-They-D?
by mmooch
Summary: After being immersed in his cousin's latest obsession, Harry starts to change the way he reacts to being the Wizarding World's hero.
1. Chapter 1: WW Cordy D?

**WW-They-D?**

Summary: After being immersed in his cousin's latest obsession, Harry starts to change the way he reacts to being the Wizarding World's hero.

Challenge: Musie's twisted imagination popped up again to ask about this scenario.

Timeline: starting (off-screen) the summer after book 2 but actual events of book 4.

Warning: I don't think there's any bashing of likeable characters, but if there is, I'm sorry.

A/N: the BtVs/AtS'verse will be fictional to Harry and will go through the first episode of season 6 BtVS. It's a quick little story; the chapters will be short, but I thought they should be separate anyway.

Thanks to my betas: none this time.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling. BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

**Chapter 1: WW-Cordy-D?**

**Great Hall**

**Just after the announcement…**

Harry listened in horror as the Headmaster announced that he was the unprecedented fourth champion in the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Okay, so that was pretty much a given, with the _Tri_ and all. But how to get out of this?

His life was dangerous enough without entering a contest for adult students where past contestants had died. How many times was he almost seriously injured or killed in the past three years? Yeah, he really wanted to spit in Murphy's face by putting his name in the goblet.

As he reluctantly walked to the room with the other champions, Harry had a flash of insight.

The past couple summers he was immersed in Dudley's latest craze: an American show about a girl who fought vampires with her friends. He admired the teenagers who seemed to defy all the odds. Maybe he could take a page out of their book and get out of this tournament. But which one?

After considering all the characters, he finally decided that this felt most like a Cordelia situation.

Harry listened as the adults decided that he was bound to this magical contract and had to compete. Finally, he took advantage of a lull in their conversation and announced loudly, "No!"

Dumbledore blinked slowly and asked, "What's that, dear boy?"

Despite the urge to squirm at the attention he now had, Harry kept going, "No, I'm _not_ obligated to compete in this tournament! This contract cannot be valid since I am underage, _and_ there was a line surrounding the cup to ensure that anyone under 17 could not put their name in. That means that somebody else put it in. The only people that can force a minor to do something are that child's guardians. I highly doubt that the Dursleys snuck into the castle during the night and dropped my name in the goblet."

From where he was listening in, Barty Crouch Jr. – posing as Moody – was hoping the boy wouldn't talk his way out of this. If Harry Potter didn't compete, it would be harder to kidnap him for the Dark Lord's return.

Harry paused to take a breath, then continued, "If they knew it might cost me my life, they might have tried, but the fact remains that somebody else entered me in the competition, so I can't be held liable for their actions. I'll even swear under Veritaserum that I didn't enter my name. If you force me to compete, I will find the meanest solicitor in the Wizarding World to sue every adult associated with the event, with as many charges as we can think of, starting with endangering a minor!"

There, that sounded like something Cordelia would say to get out of this mess. Hopefully, it would work.

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><p>AN: Now, each chapter can either be the end of the story, or just a stepping stone to the next one…your choice.


	2. Chapter 2: WW Xander D?

**Chapter 2: WW-Xander-D?**

Challenge: Musie's twisted imagination popped up again to ask about this scenario.

Timeline: starting (off-screen) the summer after book 2 but actual events of book 4.

Warning: none that I can think of.

A/N: Wow! I'm stunned by the response to this little fic. Guess Musie hit a homerun with this idea…so far. Hope this chapter doesn't ruin it for people.

Thanks to my betas: none this time.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling. BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

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><p><strong>Hogwarts<strong>

**Start of the first task…**

Shoot! The threat of litigation didn't worry the Tournament's organizers in the least. Ironically, they explained to him that a minor couldn't hire a solicitor. Been a child 'sucked beyond the telling of it' – to paraphrase something Buffy or one of her friends might have said.

So this time, he had to think of another Scooby to emulate. He smiled broadly as he came up with an answer…Xander! He had a way of getting out of situations that should have killed him!

Harry waited as the other three champions completed their first task against the dragons. When it was his turn, he stepped out onto the field and cast a spell to make his voice louder so he could ask the dragon, "May I have the fake egg in your nest?"

The only reply he got was a breath of fire sent in his direction.

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Oh well, I participated. My plan didn't work. Guess I'm disqualified now."

As he walked off the field, he thought Xander would be so proud of the loophole he took – just like the one Xander created when he brought Buffy back after she died.

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><p>AN: Again, I'd like to remind you that you can imagine this idea working, or go on to see what he tries next.


	3. Chapter 3: WW Lorne D?

**Chapter 3: WW- Lorne -D?**

Challenge: Musie's twisted imagination popped up again to ask about this scenario.

Warning: totally OOC for poor Harry.

A/N: This chapter is for cloudleonsgurl, who suggested a visit to the Yule Ball. Thank you for making me and Musie smile as we wrote this. We're taking a step back in time for this.

EDITED: to fix the American term 'cooties' for the UK one 'Lurgies'.

Thanks to my betas: none this time.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling. BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

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><p><strong>Hogwarts<strong>

Since the ball had no bearing on the tournament or whether he'd be forced to continue in it, Harry decided that he would simply cut loose and enjoy himself – to heck with what the Wizarding World expected of 'The Boy Who Lived'! For that, he needed to channel the fun-lovingest character on either show: The Host, Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan, affectionately known as 'Lorne'.

Harry knew that he had to have a date, but who wouldn't mind being seen with a Lorne-influenced Harry? It would have to be a girl who was somewhat outrageous herself. As he pondered his choices, he literally tripped over Luna Lovegood.

"Hello, Harry Potter," she greeted him. "I'm searching for the nesting grounds of a muggle creature called 'Lurgies'. Have you ever seen any of them or know where I might be able to find them?"

He smiled broadly at her, even as he shook his head, "I think they are a made up creature for young boys and girls to tease each other about," Harry explained. "Say, Luna…do you have a date to the Yule Ball yet?" He learned not to assume anything when Hermione told Ron she already had one.

Oblivious to the gasps of shock by passing students who heard his question, Luna stood up and cleaned off the dust from her robes. "No," she replied. "Do you need to practice asking somebody to go with you? You can practice on me if it helps," she offered graciously. "I know the wrackspurts make it difficult for boys to get it right on the first try by fuzzying up their brains."

Harry smiled even more brilliantly at her as she babbled on; she was perfect! How could he _not_ have fun with her? She obviously didn't care about his fame like some girls, and he figured that if anything, she would out-Lorne him, even if she didn't know who Lorne was or why Harry was trying to be like him. "Actually, I wanted to ask if _you,_ _Luna Lovegood,_ would do me the honor of being my date for the Yule Ball."

She was oddly quiet while she studied his face and body language. Finally, she pronounced, "It was a very good invitation, Harry Potter. I especially liked the emphasis you put on the pronoun 'you' and on my name. It made it seem as though it were a genuine invitation. All in all, if I were the girl you asked, I would say yes," Luna assured him.

He couldn't help himself; Harry started laughing and kept laughing until he was doubled over. Rather than take offense at his reaction, Luna joined in. She always enjoyed a hearty laugh. It kept any bugs from sticking to her insides and hurting her stomach.

Once he settled down enough to talk again, Harry said, "I wasn't practicing on you, Luna; I honestly wanted to know if you would go with me."

For once in her life, Luna was shocked. Despite being eccentric, she wasn't _truly_ crazy, and she knew that almost any girl would give her wand arm to be Harry Potter's date. Why was he asking 'Looney' Lovegood? Then it hit her…he didn't want somebody who wanted to be the date of Harry 'The Boy Who Lived' Potter; he wanted somebody who wanted to be with Harry. "I'd love to, Harry," she replied earnestly.

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><p><strong>Night of Yule Ball…<strong>

When Harry picked Luna up wearing a classic Lorne outfit: black slacks, white jacket, purple shirt and matching breast cloth, he was surprised that she did her studying him thing again. She smiled brightly, then did a glamour charm to change her dress to match the purple of his outfit.

"You look beautiful, Luna," Harry said honestly, holding out a small purple rose, which she promptly stuck in her hair.

"And you look quite handsome, Harry," Luna responded with equal genuineness. She leaned in to whisper when she caught sight of the rings on his hands – transfigured to look like Lorne's, "Or should I say, _Lorne_?" At his astonished look, she explained, "I love muggle shows that have magic in them, and Lorne is my absolute favorite on that show."

Shaking his head, he told her, "You never cease to amaze me. I think we're going to have a very good time tonight, don't you?"

"I think we should introduce the Wizarding World to the joy that is karaoke," she answered, sounding more serious than he had ever heard her before.

The headlines on both the Daily Prophet (and the Quibbler) held similar words:

_Boy Who Lived (Harry Potter) Proclaims in Song: 'I Will Survive'!_

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><p>AN: Two in one day. Consider this a bonus update!


	4. Chapter 4: WW Willow & Dawn D?

**Chapter 4: WW-Willow & Dawn-D?**

Challenge: Musie's twisted imagination popped up again to ask about this scenario.

Warning: maybe the tiniest bit bashy of Dawn.

A/N: People still seem to be enjoying the story…yay!

EDITED: To get the Yule Ball where it should have been chronologically speaking.

Thanks to my betas: none this time.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling. BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

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><p><strong>Hogwarts Lake<strong>

**Start of the second task…**

What the bloody hell did he have to do to get out of this tournament?

Despite the fact he didn't retrieve the egg, Harry had to continue competing. Sure, he had 0 points and was in last place, but they simply handed him the egg and told him when the second task would take place. Oh, and if they had to, they would cast a compulsion spell on him to _complete_ the task next time.

Fine! They wanted him to compete? He'd compete, alright.

The noise created when he tried opening it made him think of something from the show. Then he thought about something else he saw just before he left for Hogwarts.

Once he was near the merpeople, Harry cast two spells: the first linked his mind to them and to the Tournament organizers. The second one made his voice sound like Dawn's and screamed as loud as he could, "Let Ron go! Let him go! Let him go! _Let him go!_" If it hadn't been mental speaking, the decibel level he reached on the last time would have shattered glass.

But it worked.

Not only did the merpeople give him Ron, they also gave him all the other prisoners in the hopes he would leave them alone and never return.

So he completed the task, but did so in a way that would make the judges reconsider making him continue in the tournament…he hoped.

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><p>AN: Two tasks down and a handful of people need some serious headache medicine now. Should it end there or does he need to ask the question again: What would …. do?


	5. Chapter 5: WW Buffy D?

**Chapter 5: WW-Buffy-D?**

Challenge: Musie's twisted imagination popped up again to ask about this scenario.

Warning: none, really.

A/N: You people are fantastic! Over 100 reviews on TtH and over 35 on (no small feat for that site). Harry and the people he's channeling are totally feeling the love!

Thanks to my betas: none this time.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling. BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

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><p><strong>Quidditch field<strong>

**Start of the third task…**

Well, the screeching didn't work, but it did still make Harry smile when the judges winced whenever he opened his mouth to talk now. He was told that casting that spell again wouldn't work; they would protect against it now.

On the plus side, since he managed to rescue all the prisoners, he got so many points that he made up for being in last place after the first task. He was in first place now, and that was crucial to his plan for the final task.

They were told about the maze a week before they had to go in. Luna said it made sense since they had already covered fire, air, and water. Logic dictated that the last task had to be earth-based. This time he decided to pull out all the stops and ask what Buffy would do in this situation.

The semi-maniacal grin on his face made the other champions back off even further when he approached the maze. He prepared charms and spells to do this, using all the help Luna could think of to hide his intentions until he was set to begin.

Previously, Harry had measured the area of the maze, making sure that he was in the center when he began – despite the fact that the entrance to the maze was ten feet to his right. As soon as Bagman told him to start, Harry walked up to the hedge and took out his magical flamethrower and burned an entrance there. It was important that he stayed in the center because the fire was set to burn away from him for a certain distance. If he moved to one side, the fire would go past the maze on that side while not destroying the whole maze on the other side.

Luna gave him a muggle contraption called a compass that she and her father used while they searched for odd creatures. That would keep him moving forward in the right direction. He would need to stop after 1000 paces – which he kept track of with another muggle device she gave him called a tally counter. It was great having a girlfriend who didn't shun the muggle world. Yes, she was his official girlfriend since the night of the ball and he didn't care who that upset.

For the creatures that survived the fire, Harry and Luna devised another surprise. The only reason Luna didn't mind hurting these creatures was because she knew they were either not real or they were being controlled by another wizard, so killing them would set them free. She viewed imprisoning creatures – even if it was just their minds – as a fate worse than death for them.

He had just walked past the smoldering corpse of an Acromantula when a Blast-Ended Skrewt attacked him. He reached into his robe pocket and pulled out a grenade made from some of the Weasley twins' exploding products. Activating the sticking charm, Harry threw it at the Skrewt. It hurt the creature, but not enough to kill it, so he threw another charmed grenade and that one finished it off.

By the time Harry reached the winner's goblet, the maze had been reduced to a burning wreck. The smoke and fire kept the other champions back – plus their fear of what Harry was doing – so he was all alone in his fire repellent suit and bubblehead charm for his head that he glamoured before the task so nobody could tell he was wearing them.

Just before he grabbed the goblet, he surveyed his work. It wasn't a gym or a school, but the damage was still pretty impressive. He even got to slay a couple monsters like Buffy would. Bonus that he won the tournament. For once, his idea to channel somebody finally paid off!

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><p>AN: Next chapter is another bonus WW*D? brought on by the reviewers.


	6. Chapter 6: WW Oz, Giles & ? D?

**Chapter 6: WW- Oz, Giles and ? -D?**

Challenge: Musie's twisted imagination popped up again to ask about this scenario.

Warning: back to crackfic-ness for this one.

A/N: This one is for everyone who wanted to see an Oz or Giles chapter, as well as for AllenPitt, who was the first to say they wanted a scene in the cemetery.

Thanks to my betas: none this time.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling. BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. Dialogue taken from .

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><p><strong>Cemetery<strong>

**Just before Voldemort's resurrection ritual…**

Harry learned a very important Scooby lesson the hard way. When things seem to be going in your favor, be ready for the other shoe to drop…like an anvil from an airplane. The stupid trophy was a portkey and he ended up in a cemetery, facing the man who betrayed him and his parents to Moldywarts (a Scoobified nickname). Why, oh why didn't he hold onto the flamethrower when he reached for the trophy? That's right, 'cause it was getting in the way of reaching for the damned thing!

But chalk one up for the good guys that the bad guys just _had_ to stop and tell you what they were going to do.

Okay, so it wasn't as if Harry could do anything to interfere with Wormtail's plans – and whatever it was in the clothing that kept hissing to the traitor – but still, didn't they learn anything from the _Bond_ movies? That's right…they wouldn't lower themselves to watch muggle entertainment – especially if it was suggested they might learn something from it.

So Wormtail needed the 'bones of the father', 'flesh of the servant' (which seemed to indicate the thing was Voldemort) and the 'blood of the enemy'. Two of the things had to be taken against the giver's will while the second had to be freely given.

Crap, what could he do to stop whatever was going on?

Harry started to panic as his mind went blank. After all, he was only 14 and it was understandable that he'd panic in a situation like this. Okay…who on the show would be calm enough to deal with this? Who…who…who?

His first reaction was Oz. Nobody was calmer than Oz. Good, so be Oz. Now what?

Attacking them with hummus probably wouldn't help, although he'd try anything at this point.

He needed a planner as well. Giles! How would Giles handle this?

If Harry's blood had to be 'taken against his will' then why not…?

"You need my blood?" Harry asked Wormtail, proud that his voice didn't shake at all.

Wormtail glared at him and replied, "Yes, and don't think you can escape before I get it." Then he went back to preparing the other ingredients.

Shaking his head, Harry said, "Oh no, by all means…if you need my blood, please take it! Obviously you have something important to use it for, and I would never try to stand in your way!"

After Wormtail cut him and dripped the blood into the cauldron, Harry worried that despite saying the words, the magick might understand that he wasn't _truly_ willing to help.

In a moment of sheer desperation, he thought of the first magical villain on the show and decided to take a page out of her book. Making sure that he was looking at both Wormtail and the cauldron that held the Voldemort-thing, he cried out, ""I shall look upon my enemies! I shall look upon them and the dark place shall have their souls! Corsheth, take them!"

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><p>AN: Oddly enough, I think I like the Catherine from season 1, episode 3 _'The Witch'_ part more than the other two.


	7. Chapter 7: WW Ethan D?

**Chapter 7: WW-Ethan-D?**

Challenge: Musie's twisted imagination popped up again to ask about this scenario.

Warning: Massive off-screen character death/torture.

A/N: After thinking about it, I decided that at this point, Harry might have considered using a villain instead of a good guy – or at least a semi-villain, depending on your POV.

Thanks to my betas: none this time.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling. BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

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><p><strong>Dursleys house<strong>

**The summer after Voldemort's resurrection...**

Harry fumed when he heard what was being said about him and Dumbledore by the Ministry and the Daily Prophet. His plans hadn't worked in the cemetery, and he barely escaped with his life. Then he made the mistake of trying to warn people that Wormtail resurrected Voldemort. How many people had to die before they believed that Voldemort was really back? Didn't they learn anything from the last time?

What was worse, he couldn't even think of any other hero he could act like in this situation.

Then he decided that this time…he needed a villain to emulate.

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><p><strong>A year later…<strong>

Harry smiled as he left Kings Cross, not with the Dursleys, but with his godfather, Sirius Black and fiancée, Luna Lovegood. Seems as though even just the corpse of Peter Pettigrew was enough to force the Ministry to re-examine Sirius' case.

How did they get the corpse of Pettigrew? Simple. He was one of many victims of a scheme Harry based off of the Eyghon episode.

Remembering how Eyghon only went after those who wore a particular mark, Harry devised a way to call on the spirit of the basilisk he killed in the Chamber of Secrets during his second year and had it go after anyone with a Death Eaters' mark. Turns out the basilisk didn't appreciate being controlled by a half-blood and was more than willing to destroy anyone who followed him. Harry was a different story because he actually conquered the basilisk in honorable combat, therefore earning its respect.

Luna reminded him of Ethan tried to escape Eyghon and that Giles had a change of heart, so Harry added the stipulation that only those who willingly took the mark and still wanted it should be killed…which apparently meant all but a couple of them. The few unwilling people were the wives of Death Eaters and were forced to take the mark so they couldn't turn their husbands into the Ministry. There were none who truly repented.

All around the Wizarding World, Death Eaters – both known and hidden – were hit by a mist in the shape of a basilisk. When their bodies were discovered, they had phantom bites and died of basilisk venom. Most were in public areas when it happened, including Lucius Malfoy, who was speaking with Minister Fudge at the time. Snape was one of the last to die, having tried to flee to escape his fate.

As for the non-Death Eaters who made Harry's life hell, he considered another Ethan episode which seemed appropriate. With Dobby's help and other 'shamed' elves Dobby convinced to help, several people were hit with a permanent polyjuice-type potion which transformed them into house elves.

Harry could think of no better punishment for the arrogant wizards and witches than to be forced into a life of slavery for other wizards and witches. Among that list were Fudge, Umbridge, Draco Malfoy and his two goon sidekicks – although the last two actually seemed pleased by the change.

He still would have to fight Voldemort someday, but with no followers or followers' money to finance him, the Dark Lord was struggling to stay alive, much less attack anyone. In the meantime, Sirius and Remus promised to train Harry and help him hunt for the horcruxes Dumbledore told them about after Snape's death.

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><p>AN: I know that if I was trying to emulate Ethan, they would have been turned into something bad like werewolves or something. I chose not to do that because then they would become an even bigger threat.

A/N2: There's one more chapter to go…an alternative one like this one but with a different fandom added.


	8. Chapter 8: WW ? D?

**Chapter 7 (2****nd**** fandom version): WW-?-D?**

Challenge: Musie's twisted imagination popped up again to ask about this scenario.

Warning: Massive off-screen character death/torture.

A/N: This was the _original_ end of the story before I thought of Ethan. Thanks to Vilkath who reminded me of one last BtVS/AtS comparison I wanted to mention in this chapter (well, and Ethan's too, but I forgot until they mentioned it).

Thanks to my betas: none this time.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling. BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

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><p><strong>Dursleys house<strong>

**The summer after Voldemort's resurrection…**

Harry fumed when he heard what was being said about him and Dumbledore by the Ministry and the Daily Prophet. His plans hadn't worked in the cemetery, and he barely escaped with his life. Then he made the mistake of trying to warn people that Wormtail resurrected Voldemort. How many people had to die before they believed that Voldemort was really back? Didn't they learn anything from the last time?

What was worse, he couldn't even think of who he could act like in this situation. Well, apart from brooding during the train-ride home. Luna whispered that he was acting like Angel at his broodiest and that quickly snapped him out of it. Then she did a wonderful job of distracting him in _other _ways which had his friends rolling their eyes and telling them to get a broom closet.

He found his new inspiration when he saw Dudley's new obsession.

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><p><strong>Over two years later…<strong>

_**The Vengeance Continues**_

_**The Quibbler**_

_Due to the recent attacks, criminals have started turning themselves into the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Thursday marks the second anniversary of when the attacks began._

_On that day two years ago, Lucius Malfoy started confessing all his crimes when called by his surname. When called by his first name, he would change his robes into what muggleborns call a pink tutu and sang the muggle nursery rhyme __**'I'm a little teapot'**__, pretending to be one as he performed for numerous impromptu audiences. There was no evidence of an Imperious curse cast on him to explain the strange behavior. Eventually, he was locked up in the criminal ward of St. Mungos._

_Several days later, the shoppers in Diagon Alley were horrified to see Minister Fudge kissing a donkey. A charmed t-shirt he was wearing kept flashing __**'Ass-kisser Extraordinaire'**__._

_Rita Skeeter was caught in mid-transformation in an oversized Venus flytrap, proving that she was an illegal animagus, and thereby enlightening us once and for all how she was able to get the information she used to destroy people's reputations. Now the only question remains: if she were able to spy like that, why couldn't she get her facts straight?_

_Over the months and years since, wizards and witches who could be proved as criminals faced the judgment of 'Vengeance'. Who this person is, nobody knows. Some believe him or her to be the next Dark Lord once You-Know-Who is caught; others insist that he/she is doing what needs to be done until all the Death Eaters are caught and the corruption is burned out of the Ministry. The non-magical aspects to these attacks suggest that Vengeance has either studied or has ties to the muggle world._

_Turn to page 5 for more of the interesting criminals – along with the proof provided by Vengeance of their crimes, including a permanently transfigured Delores Umbridge, who was changed into a toad, but still wore her pink suit and had the same hairdo as when she was human. Her front foot was pinned to a piece of wood with a blood quill. Tests proved that it was the same blood quill she used to force students to write lines while she was at Hogwarts, despite the fact that the use of blood quills was declared illegal except in cases of signing contracts – and even then it had to be done in Gringotts._

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><p>AN: Even though I used the name 'Vengeance', this is based on The Punisher.

Additional disclaimer: The Punisher belongs to Gerry Conway, Ross Andru, John Romita, Sr. and Marvel Comics.

**Merry Christmas, et al!**


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